7 Potty Training Hacks for the Headstrong Toddler

Well hello there friend! You are either reading this because you are desperately needing some advice from a parent who didn’t potty train their child in 3 days or less... OR you just really like my writing. Either way, hello and welcome. These are the top 7 hacks, bribes, motivators, whatever you want to call them, that helped us finally kiss the daytime pull ups goodbye.

Hack #1 - BRIBES

We bribed him. This may sound simple, but with a headstrong child like ours, that bride better be a high value bribe and one that he chooses himself. Take your kid to the store, and let them pick. If you are like me, and don’t like food dyes in your kids' food, hold up a few choices that you are okay with. Straight up empower the crap out of your kid by letting them choose what they are working for. You could also do stickers, or small toys, but our kid is not motivated by these things.

PSA you should also get yourself a bribe and splurge on some caffeine or a treat for yourself, because your attitude will totally and completely impact and influence your child’s attitude about this stuff. Take it from someone who has done all the wrong things first.

Hack #2 - SPECIAL UNDERWEAR/PULL-UPS

Again, empower them, and let them choose. You have to buy them anyway, so why not let your little dictator of the household choose their underwear and pull-ups. If you are like me, you hate characters, phrases, and commercial style clothing for your child. But who cares if it's under their clothes? My kid LOVES paw patrol and monster trucks so he chose two different underwear packages. He also thinks that Buzz Light-year is pretty cool so that was his “sleepy time” pull-up choice. We call it that in our house because he is still taking naps, and I am not ready to also train during the nap and bedtime yet.

Empower them, and let them choose!

I set him up with choosing pull-ups that were not similar to his “daytime” pull-ups so that he could understand when we threw his daytime pull-ups away that they were no longer an option (for me, or for him). He is a smart kid, and was able to recognize that his pull-ups were different, and therefore underwear is for daytime, and pull-ups are now for “sleepy time”.

Hack #3 - TOILET SEAT

I absolutely LOVE the toilet seat we chose. I decided that a small toilet wasn’t something I wanted to train on. A personal choice, really. I chose a stool, and a toilet seat that made the toilet more accessible to his little bum. This decision was because I didn’t want to break the habit of training on a small toilet, and because while in public, or going to visit friends, that isn’t going to be an option for him. It also got him used to the noises of a regular toilet, because originally he was scared he was going to be sucked down.

The toilet seat we chose was Joolbaby and I highly recommend it. I have ordered another for traveling since summer is around the corner. It’s great! It folds up into fourths and has a carrying case so you can take it anywhere. He is super comfortable on it too, because it suctions onto the toilet so there is no sliding, and it's the perfect size.

Hack #4 - PARTY TIME

We threw him a party every time. Every time Hawk peed, he got a sour gummy or gummy worm, a song on the way to the toilet, and a song after he peed. Eventually he started singing it on the way to the bathroom to himself, and we now just chime in. After pooping, since this was something we struggled with in our house, we celebrated more. Hawk received a party popper poop party where he got to shoot a party popper after he pooped and got two gummies. We also still sang and danced the whole time.

Sidebar- this is why I told you to get yourself a treat. I was exhausted x 2 at the end of the day because my energy level was much higher in positivity. I worked hard to be excited all day long for him, so he was excited about it too.

Hack #5 - LETTING HIM LEAD WHILE STILL HAVING THE LEAD

Think backseat driving but with someone who you can understand about 70% of the time, who also has extreme mood swings, and opinions that make no sense. This was our way of handing him what he thought was control, while still steering the vehicle down the right direction. The direction that ends with pee and poop in the toilet, and not the fork in the road where that pee and poop end up on the floor or in his pants... Essentially, we would ask him if he had to go potty every 20-30 minutes. If he said no, we would then say, “okay well, remember that if you are making the choice not to go potty, you are making the choice not to get a gummy or sing our special song.”

This was our way of handing him what he thought was control, while still steering the vehicle down the right direction.

Sometimes this worked, sometimes it didn’t. If it didn’t, then we would say, I love that you are telling me you don’t have to go potty, let’s try anyways just in case. Remember you get a gummy if you go potty. Without fail, he would go potty. Poop, that was a different story, as I mentioned. That one has been hard, and he has definitely led the way on that. When he finally pooped in the toilet, you could tell that he was proud. We had to recognize that this particular piece of potty training really was his choice, because we can’t force him to poop. Can you say, potty trauma? No thanks…

Hack #6 - PATIENCE

Don’t get mad about accidents. This is super hard,especially if you are like me and running on less sleep than you need, probably haven’t finished your caffeine, meal, or are a bit overstimulated by your day. However, this is super important because if you lose yourself over an accident, your child is going to feel worse about it, and it won’t be productive for anyone.

If Hawk peed/pooped outside of the toilet, I would just say “Whoopsie Daisy, that’s okay. Did we have an accident?” Emphasis on "we" not "you" calling him out. Hawk would usually say “Sorry mama, I didn't mean to”. Then I would just say, “That’s okay, babe. Let’s try in the toilet one more time and we will then clean up our mess”. This was met with a cheerful okay, him usually finishing his peeing on the toilet, and then we would clean up our mess with paper towels while I used a cleaning product.

Hack #7 - PERSISTENCE

Keep trying because if you quit, they will too. Don’t quit on yourself, the process, or your kid. I quit a few times, because timing wasn’t right for Hawk or for me. I regret not pushing through on a couple of our times, because I do think he was ready. However, I was caught up in my lack of patience, my need for control (that lovely a-type personality is such a great trait…), and because I kept reading that it should only take 3 days to potty train...This isn't the case with everyone, ya'll.

NEWS FLASH!

Not to be rude, but... News flash, your kid isn’t a cookie that will fit into the cookie cutter of everyone else’s kid. When I realized this, I thought... DUH, I should have known that… I am a special education teacher. I have literally been trained not to see anyone as comparable to others, because we are all different and we all learn in different ways. This was a difficult thing for me to except, and to see in myself. Can you say, mom guilt? Oh yeah, I felt that one deep down when I realized I had been pushing Hawk into a circle hole when he is clearly my Star peg.

If you haven’t read my post Potty Train or Bust, go check that out for more of the humorous and real truth story about our potty training experience with Hawk the Monkey Babe.

Yours Truly,

Monkey Babes Mama